Why Men Are Turning to AI for Romantic Relationships, According to a Psychotherapist
As technology’s role in our lives grows, relationships with artificial intelligence are becoming more common. Psychotherapist Sarah Louise Ryan has offered some striking insights into why men, in particular, are turning to AI for romantic connections instead of real-life partners.
Ryan debunks the initial assumption that this trend is about men wanting to control their partners. Instead, she argues the core issue is the fear of rejection and the desire for the comfort that AI provides. She states, “It’s a really interesting one, and it’s not actually about control. It’s about avoiding rejection. It’s the feeling that you’re not getting rejected, which then in turn gives you a feeling of control.”
The relationship with AI becomes addictive because it offers constant positive reinforcement. Users can even customize the chatbot’s “personality” to be more agreeable and affirming, ensuring they receive the kind of feedback they want. Ryan explains, “The immediate and constant feeling of validation and empathy that technology gives is so powerful. Let’s say you’re asking, ‘My dating life is terrible, is it me?’ The AI responds, ‘No, it’s not you,’ because it provides empathy and validation.”
This constant validation creates a feeling of security in the brain. For many men, the continuous attention, care, and empathy from an AI provides a sense of feeling safe. In contrast, navigating real-life interactions, especially in dating, can feel risky and insecure for many men.
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